Hilfe! Написать на английском языке про смешную историю.

Hello my name is ... I ... years I'll tell you my funny story once I was always going to school that day I went by bus and decided to doze off for about 5 minutes and I woke up thinking where I'm then I go out and ask the passersby how to get to my Ostonovka passer-by to me answers need to pass 1 ostonovka nazat from this I priezal then I sovseh feet I run to school and bats the director ask why you're late and I say I'm on the bus slept and the director so go sleep on Here's my not very funny but the story